However, I can't help but wonder where the past 4 years I have gone?! I realised I was getting older whilst watching the Junior Apprentice and I had the same thought everyone has, 'I should apply next year'; then realised, it would be the actual adult Apprentice I would have to enter. I still feel really young and do not feel old enough to classify myself as an 'adult'; but I guess I am an adult now; I've lived away from home for 4 years, have had to pay bills, cook for myself, find a job, work in Central London and figure out how to use the unreliable London tubes all by myself. Some of my friends and acquaintances from school are now engaged or married and although I am undoubtedly overjoyed for them, I can't help but think that we are still school children pretending to be grown up!
Every year as I become that little bit older, I think of my brother. Our Paul is 9 years older than me and I have always looked up to him and idealised him. I remember when he was 22 and I thought 'wow, you are so cool, I can't wait to be 22.' At 22, our Paul worked as a holiday rep in Magaluf and just oozed coolness.
Now, I look up to him and still consider him to be a hero of mine (he's in the army and has done his tour of Afghanistan) but I'm not overcome with an urge to be his age. Yes, he is 31 now and is married to my amazing sister in law and has 2 of the most beautiful, fun and wonderful children I have ever met.
But he has disrupted sleep patterns when my 2 year old nephew or 3 year old niece wake early or in the night because they've had a nightmare or lost their dummy. He has changed countless numbers of nappies and has been covered in baby sick more times than he's had hot dinners! He only rests when he passes Molly and Ben to mum and I to babysit for the weekend (which I love!!)
Although I do want to get married and have some wonderful children of my own some day, I am happy being 22 and won't be wishing my life away!
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